Rules
by kurt-york
Summary: He doesn't break the rules, not even for her.


It's a flash of emotion, a brief convoluted feeling of love and physical attraction that makes her sick to the stomach. She decides that life is a shit hole and screws you over. It is a _sin_, a god damn sin, but she was never one who stayed by the rules anyway. So _sinner_, that's what she was. She thinks that maybe she should care, but really, she doesn't give a damn. No, there's a lie, another sin, because she does care. She cares a god damn fucking lot.

She wanted to live life with no strings attached, no deep emotional connection with anyone. But he was there, all her life, being so god damn nice and you know, she's a human. It's these blossoming feelings, like plumes of bloody smoke rising from her heart that she attempts to suppress. But, like drugs, they over power her (and she decides that drugs aren't as _dangerous_ as _this_). But, there's some things that even magic can't control (and although she may deny it, she might _like_ those feelings in a twisted, twisted way).

She understands it's wrong, against the rules, against society.

But Alex, she follows her own rules, and "screw the rules" is the first rule on her list, followed by "don't fall in love". But he doesn't break them, not even for her. So she wonders if he even cares (he does, he cares a lot more than she can fucking imagine, _she is his world_).

II

It hits her one day like a barrage of bullets, an onslaught of gun fire. They would never work. She cries because it seems like the one thing she wants the most is unattainable. Her eyes are swollen and nose runny when she realizes. The danger of the relationship, it's toxic, toxic quality is an adrenaline rush, a high all its own, and she wants it now, more than ever. It's an insatiable hunger and thirst for _him_.

Alex _loves_ dangerous activities.

III

She's prepared it. Every move is calculated with precision and maybe finally, _finally _he will give in. Because, what man would be able to resist her feminine wiles; the subtle pushing out of the chest, the flowery perfume and slightly messy hair.

Max is at a friend's house for the night. Their parents are off on their honey moon and she makes sure they have safely landed in Hawaii before taking the stairs two steps at a time to go change.

She picks the shortest and most revealing clothes she has, which aren't revealing enough she decides before hacking some pieces off with scissors, and fixing the rough edges with her sewing machine.

She takes a quick glance in the mirror and is overwhelmed with the want because she is so close it is almost tangible, _almost_. Justin calls from down stairs that the movie is almost ready and she smoothes her skirt and sucks her stomach in (she ignores the sick _sick_ feeling in the pit of her stomach, because she is too _hungry for him_ to care).

She sits next to him on the couch and he throws a cursory glance at her and does a double take. His jaw drops and he is at a loss for words. She reaches over and gently places her fingers on his chin and lifts up. His mouth closes and he clears his throat and stammers, "Uh…I'm going to go get some drinks, what do you want?"

He returns with two cans of Coca Cola and sits stiffly at the edge of the couch. The movie begins, but he's not paying attention. She can see him sneaking glances at her when he thinks she isn't looking and she smiles because it's working. Throughout the movie, she inches her way towards him until she's almost sitting on top of him and he's trying hard to control himself because he's the older brother, the responsible one.

He mutters a "shit" under his breath and she knows she's got him like an eagle has its prey. She leans over him seductively to grab the remote and his breathing hitches. She turns the movie off and turns to look at him.

"Uh…I was watching that."

His throat is dry and he finds himself wishing he hadn't drunk that much coke.

"Oh…I just thought that we could do something…else."

She pauses, and the sick, _sick_ feeling in the pit of her stomach grows and gnaws and kills her inside. She can't do it; she can't, because it's _wrong_. So, she gives a short laugh and lies about him "probably wanting to play with his action figures instead" and he sighs. She doesn't know if it's of relief or of disappointment, but she doesn't care right now. All she wants is to get out of the room. She says something about "girl problems" and lurches up the stairs; feeling empty, so, so, _empty_.

She changes into a t-shirt and sweat pants and doesn't leave her room until their parents come home.

IV

Her heart hurts, her stomach hurts, her head hurts, and she wonders if this is what happens when you fall in love.

Alex followed the rules, but she broke her own.


End file.
